Listen up, folks.
February 7, 2016
February 5, 2016

We have several dozen special forces troops on the ground in Syria, where we were assured that we would never have boots on the ground. We are improving rural Syrian airstrips so that they can handle C-130s delivering things. Such as more troops.

We have announced that we just might put troops into Libya, where we already have troops that we do not admit are there. Hillary Clinton still maintains that Libya represents a successful use of "smart power." Smart, as in we totally fucked up the country and let Daesh invade without putting U.S. boots on the ground. Onward to phase two.

After the Bataclan attacks, France instituted emergency measures that allow police to raid, search, seize, and arrest without a search warrant. As you might expect, the police are making generous use of the privilege. Critics say they're mostly snatching up drug suspects and the like, not terrorists. So you're sitting there in your underwear, watching French-dubbed Dukes of Hazzard, and the gendarmes stroll through the front door.... Zut alors!

McDonald's new "Keep Calm, Caesar On," salad with kale, chicken, and croutons has more calories, fat, and sodium than a Double Big Mac. Honest.

February 5, 2016

Okay, obviously I'm Googling around for a good Super Bowl snack. I came across this one from Southern Living. I am not making this up.

Easy Barbecue Sliders: Buy some packaged BBQ pork, some pre-made coleslaw, some slider buns, and a bottle of BBQ sauce. Quoting the actual recipe, "Serve barbecued pork on rolls with barbecue sauce and coleslaw."

For more excitement, see our recipe for "PB&J, No Crust, Cut Diagonally."

February 5, 2016

Turn a New Yorker loose on Mexican food and see what happens. Here's the very fun recipe.

February 3, 2016

As you may know, I'm letting my friend Toribio Ortega paint some pictures in my garage. He did this one, and I liked it. Then I looked at it yesterday afternoon and decided that it's plain old hideous.

After mulling it over, I concluded that the picture represents how Toribio was feeling at the time, and it really doesn't matter what I think about it. I may not want it hanging over my sofa, but it's an honest expression—arguably a better expression than comes out of carefully composed, harmoniously hued, delicated detailed art produced by some people with training and restraint. It's Toribio. Sometimes Toribio is hideous.

February 2, 2016
February 1, 2016

There are four idiots still holed up at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge. They're "negotiating" with the FBI. Their central non-negotiable demand is for amnesty if they surrender.

Oh, sure. Let's see. You're in the middle of an armed occupation of federal property. You were asked to leave about seventy-six times and you refused. You've been spouting anti-government manifestos and brandishing AR-15s. We've had to screw around with your nonsense for a month. Your leadership decided to go on a road trip and got themselves arrested or dead. Their vehicles were bristling with weapons and ammunition. Grant you free passage and a pardon? Why the hell not?

The news this morning is the dopes' cell phones have gone dead and their internet connection has been cut. What will they do when the electricity goes out?

So?

January 30, 2016
January 30, 2016

Today's New York Times didn't have anything about the revelation of Hillary's super-top-secret e-mails, but it did have this.

January 28, 2016

What Trump is (or is not) missing is that Roger Ailes is thinking, "Oh, please, bring on the pissing match." FOX is actively taunting Trump, which I've never seen before. They're goading him on his own terms. They totally want him to turn up the heat. Let 'er rip, Donnie. Let's hear that schoolyard trash talk. It's going to help us as much as it helps you.

Megyn Kelly knows that this is boosting her visibility. Her ratings must be going through the roof. Nothing Trump can say will take away from her intelligence, capability, knowledge, skills, composure and dang it, gorgeousness. She's laughing her very sweet ass off at his attacks. She would send him thank-you notes and chocolates, but it might cool him off.

Trump is cunning, but he's no match for Roger Ailes or Megyn Kelly.

January 28, 2016

Reuters provides the above quote from one of the few remaining refuge occupier guys (click for larger). It's interesting. Similar to Affluenza Boy, it's slowly dawning on them that they've been committing blatant felonies, which means that they're going to lose two of their most precious rights: voting and owning weapons. Plus there's that business about jail time.

These jokers are so freaking slow-witted.