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April 23, 2018

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Lokey Boy

I don't know whether you've seen the news about the 20-something who's squatting in a fancy Miami mansion that was left empty after a foreclosure. He calls himself Lokey Boy. News folks are saying that he's found a brilliant legal loophole called "adverse possession" and there's nothing that the police can do. He can continue as a squatter, and if he pays taxes for seven years he owns the joint. The neighbors are freaking out.

I'm amazed that the bank, or whoever owns the place now, hasn't filed a good old-fashioned forcible entry and detainer. It's a civil remedy, which is not where the police do their business. The property owner files the suit, slaps a notice on the front door, goes to the court and asks the court to throw the doofus out. The judge signs an order. The sheriff goes out and yanks the guy back into reality. Total cost $750.

I mean, really, do you think that a squatter can move into your vacant property and nobody can do anything about it? Really? Okay, you can do exactly that in the Netherlands and probably some other European-type places. Honest. You really can. But not here. This is America.

What? Yes, it is. It's precisely the same as an eviction. Stack his belongings on the curb without even the ceremony of stuffing them into plastic bags.

Nothing newsworthy there. Happens every day. The situation in the Netherlands, where hippie anarchist doper fun people have been squatting in buildings for year after year, is a lot more interesting.